Monthly Archives: October 2014


Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Have you been told by friends, family members and/or neighbors that you look so good? For most of us not living with cancer these are nice words to hear…but for those of us who have cancer, these words can feel forced or even dismissive.

One woman who has advanced breast cancer shared in a support group that she feels people say “you look so good” to make themselves feel better. She also said that when she hears this, it feels as though everything she’s been through, and is currently going through, is being minimized.

Another group member, a man living with metastatic prostate cancer, shared that when someone tells him that he “looks so good,” he responds by telling them, “You don’t have x-ray vision.”

How do you feel when someone tells you, you look so good?

Do these words feel good or bad to you and why? What are your responses when you hear this?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.



Stephanie Stern, LCSW-C is an oncology social worker and the moderator of The MetaCancer Foundation’s Mosaic Online Support Community.

The MetaCancer Foundation provides information and resources focused on the unique psychological and emotional aspects of living with metastatic cancer. Mosaic is a free online support service for people living with metastatic cancer and their loved ones.

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