Blog

 
Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Asking for help is not easy for most of us. There can be many reasons for this — for example, to avoid feeling a loss of control, showing weakness or just being vulnerable. It’s frustrating, scary and overall difficult when we’re not easily able to (or just can’t) do the things that we are so accustomed to doing. Daily routines, chores, tasks often take all our energy.

Ironically, many of us are happy to help others in need… so why is it so hard to be the person receiving help?

Below are 5 reasons (and there are many more!) why you should consider asking for help/support.

  1. Decreases stress – You’ll have one less thing on your plate.
  2. Saves energy – You’ll have more strength for the things you want to do.
  3. Lessens isolation – You’ll be connecting with your support network..
  4. Makes others feel good – You’ll be giving others something that they can actively do to help.
  5. Makes you feel good – You’ll be amazed by the people who want to be helpful and supportive.

If you’re not already asking for or receiving help, I hope at least one of these 5 reasons will make you reconsider.

Is it hard to ask for help… or is it easy? Let me know what you think; I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.

Warmly,

Stephanie


Stephanie Stern, LCSW-C is an oncology social worker and the moderator of The MetaCancer Foundation’s Mosaic Online Support Community.

The MetaCancer Foundation provides information and resources focused on the unique psychological and emotional aspects of living with metastatic cancer. Mosaic is a free online support service for people living with metastatic cancer and their loved ones.

No Comments
 
Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Stage IV cancer can look different in each of us. For those of us in treatment and experiencing side effects, cancer is often all too consuming…but for people not currently in treatment (and feeling relatively well), focusing on other life issues and trusting can be a new and unforeseen challenge .

One group member, who has stage IV ovarian cancer, shared that she feels as if she is living in two different worlds…one as a 56-year-old woman (her current age) and one much older. She is currently out of treatment, “feeling pretty good,” and is seeing her oncologist less. She has not been working and since her last treatment ended and she is finding that she has more time for herself.  In one world she presents as a healthy 56-year-old woman who thinks about the future…planning trips, wanting to date and meet the “right” man. Her friends tell her she looks so good. In her other world she feels that her body has betrayed her and that she has a harder time doing the things she used to be able to do so easily. She also feels lazy (and that others may view her this way) for not working now that she’s out of treatment. In this “cancer world” she thinks about all of her possessions…not wanting to burden her only child with her things and papers. She finds herself spending a lot of time paring down the things she will no longer need, and which will not be wanted by her son when she’s no longer alive. In her cancer support group, she has permission to ask the bigger questions, like when will her cancer return and what will the next stage look like.

Do you feel that you live in 2 different worlds (some of the time/a lot of the time)? Why or why not? Are there challenges?

***As caregivers we can also live in two different worlds. What does this feel like? How do you juggle both/live between the two? What is this experience like?

I look forward to hearing your experiences!

Warmly,
Stephanie

[hr]

Stephanie Stern, LCSW-C is an oncology social worker and the moderator of The MetaCancer Foundation’s Mosaic Online Support Community.

The MetaCancer Foundation provides information and resources focused on the unique psychological and emotional aspects of living with metastatic cancer. Mosaic is a free online support service for people living with metastatic cancer and their loved ones.

No Comments
 
Lucy's-artwork-009-web

Photo Credit: K. Lundblad

Have you been told by friends, family members and/or neighbors that you look so good? For most of us not living with cancer these are nice words to hear…but for those of us who have cancer, these words can feel forced or even dismissive.

One woman who has advanced breast cancer shared in a support group that she feels people say “you look so good” to make themselves feel better. She also said that when she hears this, it feels as though everything she’s been through, and is currently going through, is being minimized.

Another group member, a man living with metastatic prostate cancer, shared that when someone tells him that he “looks so good,” he responds by telling them, “You don’t have x-ray vision.”

How do you feel when someone tells you, you look so good?

Do these words feel good or bad to you and why? What are your responses when you hear this?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Warmly,

Stephanie


Stephanie Stern, LCSW-C is an oncology social worker and the moderator of The MetaCancer Foundation’s Mosaic Online Support Community.

The MetaCancer Foundation provides information and resources focused on the unique psychological and emotional aspects of living with metastatic cancer. Mosaic is a free online support service for people living with metastatic cancer and their loved ones.

No Comments
...23456...